Whoops
by Munkman13
Summary: After a night of...I don't want to say passion, but something a lot like passion...enjoyment? Ed and his entire family might be in a bit of a tight spot. May is just trying to figure out where her life goes from that point on. Friendships are forged and tested. Don't like Don't read.
1. Chapter 1

**Danny A. Owns Ed Edd n Eddy I own nothing not even this computer. Unrealistic idea but why not? They are in high school.**

Ed shifted over on his bed. He felt something tighten around his midsection, looking down he saw his May Kanker doll had gotten out and wrapped itself around him after dressing up as Miss Danger Lady! his favorite female superhero. Smiling a little Ed closed his eyes planning to go back to sleep.

"Silly doll." He said out loud. A girlish giggle mixed with a snort was his reply.  
>"Silly Ed." Ed then remembered a very important fact that many would think would have been his first thought. He did not own a May Kanker doll, especially a life-sized one. Snapping his eyes wide open he looked down bug-eyed and terrified at the blonde trailer girl as she only smiled, her buckteeth biting her lip.<p>

"Good morning big Ed!"  
>"Kanker!" Ed shouted and jumped up and out of his bed. When he landed, the sheet fluttered up and then back down. Ed realized another most horrifying thing. He was naked. So was May. Both looked at each other with a red blush. Now his mommy and Dad had told him all about the birds and the bees and how the only person who should ever see you naked was going to be your future spouse.<p>

If that was the case Ed all of a sudden really wanted to look into divorce hearings.  
>"I w-what huh? You were supposed to be Miss Danger Lady!" Ed cried out in shock. May Kanker was dressed up ...or at least had been... as the greatest female action hero of all time and space! She had lied to him.<p>

May Kanker gave him a surprised and dubious look. "Ed do you remember anything from last night?" Ed put his finger to his pouted out lip and began to think, and think, and think and think. For some reason all that could come to mind was the fact that they were both still naked, well at least she had the nice warm sheet to cover herself up with.  
>Looking around Ed saw where he had thrown his favorite green jacket, picking it up he slipped it on and buttoned up as much as he could. Sitting down on the floor he began to think a little clearer, it finally came to him. An epiphany! A vision! A picture in his head!<p>

He had been sitting around in his room and watching his favorite monster movie marathon on television. When suddenly out from a mount ion of well placed objects of most personal value to him rose the great and powerful Miss Danger Lady!  
>He could only sit and gawk at her amazingness, her shiny breast plate and flowing cape. She had given a sultry familiar smile, he could not see her face she was wearing a domino mask. He goofily grinned back. His grin got even wider when she had grabbed ahold of his shirt and delivered a real knockout of a kiss that curled his toenails in pleasure. He never even dreamed that he could meet his all time favorite super heroine in the flesh!<p>

Other things happened. His body acted weird, and so did hers. But when it was over he felt great! Now the morning after he found out that it was just May Kanker. Unless of course this could mean...  
>"May..." He said in awe.<br>"Yes Ed?" She said breathlessly. Expectantly.  
>"Are you Miss Danger Lady?" May could only give an annoyed look followed by a chortle of laughter, she shook her head because for a full minute she could not respond.<br>"N-no Ed...It was just something I made out of cardboard and drapes."  
>"Why?"<br>"There was no scrap metal just lying around."  
>"Why did you...come over here last night? Dressed like Miss Danger Lady?" May looked around for a bit before looking him straight in the eye. Holding the covers close to her chest she sat up straighter.<br>"You really want to know?" Ed nodded his head vigorously.  
>"I just wanted to...you know...and I thought you would be more willing with...well...I did it for you ya know!" May looked angry and flustered and just about ready to break his headboard, or maybe his knee caps. Ed looked around...oh man what would Double D do in a situation like this? Probably not get into this kind of situation...well what about Eddy?...again Eddy would probably try to kick her out, that would not work in this type of situation. Like the knights of ye old round table quest Ed was chivalrous! Man did he ever want to get a pony.<p>

Thinking of ponies and chivalry Ed got a pretty good idea. Hopping to his feet he bowed low and presented his hand like that scene in the comic where lord Chambermaid swore alliance to the cybernetic queen.  
>"I thank you Miss May for a nice night and...and ...uh..."<br>"Yes?"  
>"Er um uh...Buttered toast!" Ed shouted out as his stomach grumbled. His closest best buddy bails him out once again.<br>"Buttered toast? I don't get it."  
>"Well um you er look hungry! Yeah and so am I with the eating of the big breakfast and everything! Would you er like some?"<br>"Buttered toast you mean? Breakfast?"  
>"Uh-huh."<br>May's face broke into a full out grin. "Yes I would love some breakfast Big Ed!" Rd turned around to start to go upstairs. The clearing of a throat grabbed his attention. Turning back around May was pointing downwards at his still bare legs. Blushing Ed rushed around grabbing his underwear and pants, he was soon fully dressed. May had followed suit and was also presentable should anyone be up.

Ed began to make his way back up the stairs when the clearing of throat caught his attention again. May was sitting on the bed with her arms raised up and in his direction. She cocked an eyebrow, Ed might not have been very bright but he decided to go with his gut instinct. Going back he picked her up and walked back up the stairs, banging her head against the doorframe quite by accident, she didn't seem to notice or mind.  
>Ed was not entirely sure why he was carrying her up the stairs to his kitchen. By Evil Tim's left nostril he wasn't even sure why he was going to make her breakfast, and buttered toast of all things, his food!<p>

Oh man what if his parents were awake! Or Sarah! Which was just as bad. Walking in with May Kanker of all people in his arms, it would be so embarrassing. He stuck his head out of the basement door and looked around, a military colonel surveying the layout of the fort. The coast was clear. The coast for the toast was no boast!

He deposited May in a chair and went to the breadbox. Popping a few pieces into the toaster he sat down across from her. They did not make eye contact and just looked around the room uncomfortably for a few seconds.

"Do you got any eggs?" May finally broke the silence.  
>"Frank the fridge is full." Ed pointed at the giant monolith of cold storage that sat in the corner. May took out a carton of eggs, the milk bottle and a block of cheese. She grabbed a frying pan and began to go at it.<p>

She moved around the kitchen expertly. She seemed used to being in there, comfortable. Ed could only sit there and sweat. For what felt like an eternity the toast popped up.  
>"Eggs are ready!" May called. Ed got out a couple of plates and they began to eat in silence. Crumbs flew from either end of the table as they ate rather ravenously. They finished at the same time, Ed's stomach growled again and he felt the overwhelming desire for dessert.<br>"Chunky Puffs?" He asked getting out the bowl and the box. May nodded, she didn't have cereal that often, well at least not expensive name brand cereal.

May could hardly wait and slurped down half of the bowl before Ed could even take a bite of his own. She had finished when he had one spoonful.  
>"You going to finish that?" Ed looked down, sighed and pushed it across the table for her. May greedily gobbled it down. A satisfied belch and then a quick excuse me followed shortly after.<p>

Footsteps came down the stairs. Both sat paralyzed for a second, and then the door flew open. Sarah stood in the open doorway, her hair disheveled and still in her pajamas. She didn't seem to notice May until she was in the room.  
>"Ed! What the heck is she doing here!"<br>"Just leaving actually." May said standing up. She went past Ed and gave what she probably thought of as a seductive wink. Passing by Sarah she pretended to punch her across the head. Sarah flinched away. May grinned triumphantly.

"Two for flinching." She then gave the younger girl a couple of taps on the arm. May left throughout he front door. Ed heard it slam close. Sarah looked where the trailer girl had been sitting. She went to the cabinet and got out a bowl for her cereal.  
>"That was weird. Why was she here?" Sarah glared down at her older brother. Ed just shrugged and looked away. He really really didn't like lying to his little sister, it always made him feel uncomfortable, it didn't help that she would hold it over his head if she found out that he was lying. Sarah glowered for a moment before pouring herself some Chunky Puffs, the bowl filled a fifth of the way with actual puffs, and the rest was just powdered residue from the bottom. Sarah was about ready to scream her head off before Ed jumped up to get her some from an unopened box.<p>

**Danny A. Owns Ed, Edd n Eddy. I own nothing not even this computer. I plan to write a few more chapters for this. Review or something I guess.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Danny A. Owns Ed Edd n Eddy I own nothing not even this computer. I might continue this unsure. Review Please**

May's mother worked late every night. Some nights she was home earlier and some nights she was home later. Some nights May was sure that her mother never came home at all.  
>Sometimes she didn't see her mother for days on end.<br>It was going to be one of the nights when her mother was home early. That was always a nice change of pace. Or it would be if May could shake this stupid cold, or flu or whatever it was that was affecting her. It was certainly a weird flu, she had been getting light headed and occasional dizzy spells, and she had even been vomiting at times, it seemed to come and go all week but mostly in the morning.

No one knew that she was sick not even her sisters, and that was odd for her, as she had shared a lot with her sisters. The same bed, the same clothes, even the same boyfriends at times when they were desperate.  
>Sharing so much then it of course would have been natural, almost normal to share the same germs and cold. But that was not the case, medical care was expensive and if she stayed sick much longer then who knew how much she might cost the family?<p>

Contrary to her sister's beliefs she didn't like to take more then her fair share, her fair share just so happened to be the same amount as the other two.

The three girls sat at the small kitchen table with the remains of dinner laid out in front of them. It had been beans and fries and for some odd reason it made May's stomach turn a little, she managed to choke down her portion, if she hadn't then she wouldn't have gotten anything else. What she especially enjoyed was the microwaved peas and carrots. In fact when Lee went to the can and Marie had pushed her vegetables onto May, she hadn't objected as she normally did.

It was weird maybe it had something to do with survival or enzymes or something? Her body telling her to get more vitamins to combat the sickness? She didn't know, maybe she would look it up at the school next week? That was where she got most of her information from, the school computers and library, it was a useful place to go and read and learn about chemistry. Plus it was always a great place to wreck whenever she and her sisters got bored.

The dinner plates were mopped up of all and any leftover residue, waste not want not as her mother would say. Or as Lee put it "Eat up or starve." With those options then it was normal to choose.

The three girls picked up their plates and silverware. It paid to work hard whenever their mom came home early in case one of them snitched on the other two and they all got into trouble. All of their chores from earlier had been done and now it was really only the dishes and pampering their mother. Before the water had even hit the plates a door slammed and a cough hacked through the tiny trailer.

"Girls? Ya here?" A two packs a day voice called from the front. Their mother was actually pretty conscious of how badly the cigarettes smelled, she only smoked outside of the trailer.  
>'This dump is cruddy enough as is.' Was her logic. The smell still lingered on her skin and therefore followed her into the trailer and attached itself to the furniture, giving everything a nicotine smell.<p>

"We're in the Kitchen Ma!" Lee shouted out huskily, she sounded a decent amount like their mother, none of them knew why she had just always sounded like that. Their mother in all her five foot something glory, with long red hair and devilish glints in her eyes came in with her waitress uniform over her shoulder, she had her house cleaner outfit on at the moment, during the week she had to work in an assembly line on top of everything else. But hey, whatever payed the bills.

Their mom moved over to the fridge and pulled out a can of beer, she leaned against the counter and pulled open the tab. Kicking off her shoes she grinned at her kids. May was washing the dishes, Marie would dry and Lee would scurry around and quickly put them away. It had felt like it had been weeks since they had seen each other and it would have surprised neither group that it very well might have been.

Still her girls could take pretty good care of themselves, evident by the cooking and cleaning. She had noticed that one of them had prepared a plate for her and left it in the fridge to be reheated at her leisure. May had probably prepared it, at Lee's instructions. The redhead was a good leader but embarrassingly lazy, and the blonde while a hard worker was none too imaginative when it came to seeing what needed to be done.

"So...nice day?" Ms. Kanker said to brake the silence.  
>"It was getting' cold, I need better sneakers." Marie complained drying off some of the forks.<br>"Well we can look at the salvation army or something I guess." It would be cheaper then paying for the amputation of frostbitten appendages anyway.  
>"Hey! How come she gets new sneakers but I can't have a new belt Maw?" Lee asked indignantly clattering the forks into the drawer.<br>" yours is plenty fine." She groaned out. Marie stuck out her tongue at Lee who threatened her with a dented spoon.

"You little freeloaders should try to pick up shifts at the old factory or something, stuff don't come cheap ya know." The three girls nodded, May a tad slower then the other two, she just felt really, really rotten all of a sudden.  
>"You alright kiddo?" May couldn't figure it out, it felt like some kinda cramp in her gut.<br>"Yo May maws talking to ya!" She wondered if she had low blood sugar? She was still a little hungry. Maybe a couple of pickles before bedtime?  
>"MAY!" Lee shouted into her little sister's ear. May yelped and jumper a bit, the plate she had been holding dropped to the floor and smashed into six pieces of varying size and sharpness.<p>

"MAY!" Ms. Kanker shouted in alarm and a bit of frustration, if it wasn't one thing then it was twelve others with these kids.  
>"S-sorry ma!" She cried out. Her head felt insanely light headed and she grasped the side of their pathetic counter for some balance. The other three women grasped a limb and moved her into the living room. Sitting down on the couch May put her head between her legs and took a couple deep breaths.<br>"Stupid cold." She muttered under her breath.

"Marie get some water."  
>"I'm not thirsty." The bluenette replied with a questioning look on her face.<br>"For her kibble brain!" The girl ran off, if one thing was law it was never disobey ma.

Ms. Kanker felt her youngest daughter's forehead for a brief moment. She wasn't hotter then what was normal. But she seemed off...familiarly off...badly off...dangerously off...  
>"Aw no. No. NO." Ms. Kanker repeated over and over again looking at her blonde baby girl. Not this, not this of all things. If she had been religious she would have cursed God, Jesus and Satan right then and there, soul be damned!<p>

Standing up she stalked out of the room leaving the three girls alone. Marie handed May a coffee mug filled with water, she took a couple of hesitant sips before nodding her thanks.  
>"What the heck did you do this time?" Lee said despondently, her mood matching her mothers.<br>"I... I don't know, nothing I think?" May screwed up her eyes, she couldn't really remember her mother being this angry at her for a while. At that moment their mother came back in with a box that she threw down next to her kid.  
>"Drink and then piss on that, bring it into the other room once your done." The older girls looked down and then at each other with questioning looks. A pregnancy test? Shouldn't it be a thermometer or something?<p>

May stood up obediently and went into the other room. The rest of the family moved into the kitchen and sat down. The silence went on for a solid minute before Lee stood up and took out their mother's dinner. She placed it in front of her, Ms. Kanker just continued to stare at it not moving.  
>May joined them two minutes later and placed a stick on the table. The four of them sat in silence, up until Ms. Kanker picked up the test and stared down at it.<p>

She closed her eyes and breathed out through her nose.  
>"You colossal idiot." She through the stick down and stood up moving over to where May sat, wide eyed and scared, a chipmunk caught in a hawks sight line.<br>"You colossal idiot! Do you have any idea what you just did?"  
>"N-no." May stammered out frightened beyond belief.<br>"Wait wait wait." Lee said looking at the test. "May's knocked up?"

"Who?! Who did this?! Was it that creep down by the public bathrooms?! Who did this to you girl?!"  
>"Y-you don't know them..."<br>"Was it some kinda drifter or something?!" May began to cry, little hiccup's with snot leaking out.  
>"Don't think that'll get you out of this missy." Ms. Kanker hissed into May's flushed face. "Now tell me. Who's. Is. It?"<br>"Big Ed's!" May shouted before covering her face and bawling her eyes out. Ms. Kanker stood confused. Who was big Ed? Some kinda pedophiliac ice cream man? Her other daughters looked shocked and even a tad envious.

"Seriously?! Ya got one! May you minx!" Marie shouted and gave her crying sister a slug on the arm.  
>"Jeez louis May, I expected Marie to do this but you? Come on."<br>"I take offense at that." Marie deadpanned. "Still congrats sis! Now you two are hooked for life. Man when my oven Mitt gets me and mine." Marie trailed off and got a faraway look in her eye, she seemed to drool a little and almost groped the air.

"Am I the only one who doesn't know who this big Ed yahoo is?" Ms. Kanker said indignantly.  
>"He's May's boyfriend." May gave out a conforming nod lifting her head up from her hands.<br>"How old is he?"  
>"Around our age." Ms. Kanker was confused, she hadn't expected that. Maybe he was one of those well off to do kids from that culdesac across the way? Then she got an idea.<br>"What do you mean around your age?" Lee and Marie shrugged.  
>"Maybe a year older then the three of us?" Lee guessed it was hard to tell with the nut. Ms. Kanker thought a little.<p>

A year older, a year more mature, that might mean he could be charged with some kinda pedophilia junk. Yeah...yeah. Ms. Kanker began to grin. She grabbed up the test and sat on her haunches next to her still sniffling daughter and hugged her around the head.  
>"Kiddo you and your sisters get your coats we three are going for a walk."<p>

Ed had just finished construction on his asparagus and green bean house. His Dad's meatloaf and mashed potatoes pyramid might have just outdone him though. Fancy dinner time was always the best. And the best part was that Ed always used his vegetables so that he could store them and not feel inclined to eat them. And Sarah said that he never planned ahead.

"Always three steps captain." He leaned over and whispered into her ear. She merely looked at him questioningly and with disgust. A knock came at their front door and the entire family stopped their chewing and swallowing.  
>"Is Jimmy early dear?" Their Mother asked Sarah. She could only shrug. The guy always texted before he changed plans. He liked her to know where he was in case of possible kidnappings.<br>"Ed could you answer the door." Their Dad asked while putting his makeshift toothpick flag at the top of the pyramid. Ed didn't know if this was a ploy so that his Dad could mess with his green bean fence, but he decided to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. Shooting up out of his chair he rushed to the door skidding to a stop and leaving tread marks along the floor. Maybe it was Eddy or Edd? The three of them were planning to meet up after breakfast to go to school so maybe they just came early is all.

"Hiya Edd..." Ed stopped when he saw who was at the door. A tall red headed woman with two harpies and May Kanker standing at his door. May looked downright drained. He would maybe have to save her later from the vampires like in Dracula twenty four : The unstakeing!

But until then he was just planning to run and hide under the table.  
>Slamming the door closed before the devil in woman form could ben reach out and say hello, Ed turned around and ran back to the dining room. His sister gave him a confused look as he flew back in and lunged under the table. He only needed to shout one thing.<p>

"Kankers!" His little sister's face grew pale before she also took up his cry and jumped under after him. Ed covered his eyes and shivered Sarah was right beside him doing the same.  
>"What are you doing?" Their Mommy said. Ed opened his eyes and looked at her from out underneath the table.<br>"Kankers and May! Bad for Ed! Danger Danger! The crisis has begun, to the bunker!"  
>"To the bunker!" His dad shouted from beside him underneath the table.<br>"Out from under there! Now who was at the door?" with that she stood up and walked over to the front door.

"Don't open it mom!" Sarah shouted flying out after her. Ed and their Dad after the two women. They were too late. The door was open and the family wandered in. The grown up Lee that Ed had never seen before was at the front then her three daughters. May in the middle being supported by the two older siblings. The woman held out a well worn hand.  
>"MY name is Bebe Kanker." She shook his mom's hand and then held up a weird looking stick that caused his mom to take in a deep breath and look at Dad shocked.<br>"And we need to talk."  
>"Connor!" She shouted at their dad. He looked confused and then his eyes widened.<br>"Not me Rachel!" Their dad shouted defensively.  
>"No we are here looking for an Ed... Girls what's his last name?" Lee and Marie looked over May's head before shrugging.<br>"You two really don't know?" Bebe Kanker deadpanned.  
>"To be perfectly honest it has just never come up before."<p>

"Fine then...simply put you kid" She pointed at Ed. He jumped and grabbed the rails on the banister, ripping a couple out he brandished them like a cross and aimed them in the Kanker's general direction.  
>"With the power of the anti pit and the lord of blessing bull behind me I remove your power of the dark souls!" Ed shouted his voice ringing with truth and power. The entire hall grew quite. Sarah just turned and began to walk up the stairs, she was wiping her hands clean of this right now. Even if she missed out on Ed getting in trouble, his craziness was simply not worth it.<p>

"Does he do this often?" Bebe asked Rachel awkwardly.  
>"Every single day."<p>

"Okay back to blackmailing you now." Bebe held up the test again. "Your kid and my youngest, she's just a junior he's...older? Right?"  
>"Well Ed should have been in senior year...but something's came up and well he needed to stay back a little." Ms. Kanker looked triumphant and she walked into the house.<br>"Well then. We got a lot to discuss about." Rachel grabbed a hold of her sons ear and pulled him after her into the living room. She sat him down on one end of the room. Marie, May and Lee all sat together on the couch. Ed gave a little wave to May. She smiled and waved back. Bebe and Rachel sat in a couple of chairs and glared at each other. Ed's Dad ran off to the kitchen to brew up some coffee as was his fallback during a crisis.

"I just want to say this pretty straight forward like. I want a good amount of whatchamacallit...restitution and we don't sully your family's good name or take ya to court."  
>"Well" Rachel began smoothing out her dress with one hand. "I have heard from Sarah on occasion that your girls have violated my sons privacy and been frequent tormentors towards both of my children. I wrote it off as simple 'hazing' just your girls acting out and nothing serious to come from it. Still I think that a court would love to know about your girls past records." Bebe Kanker fumed her teeth sparked as she gnashed them together.<br>"Your kiddo slept with my underage daughter ya nut. No matter how you cut this, It's gonna end badly for you."  
>"How do you even know that it's my sons child? Your girl could be lying."<br>"My daughters don't lie!" Ms. Kanker shouted standing up.  
>"Well Ed certainly hasn't said that it is his child."<br>"He hasn't not said that it isn't!"  
>"Double negatives tricky..." Connor said returning to the room with the coffee.<p>

"Just ask him and I will guarantee what he says." Rachel said with dignity. "No."  
>"Er...Not yes?" Ed said scared. All eyes turned to him. Bebe with triumph, His parents in shock and anger, May's only in surprise, and perhaps deep, deep down, joy.<br>"Out of my house. Now." Rachel said rising up.  
>"No way not yet. I demand you pay us so that we don't have to worry about this alone!" Rachel began to shoo the Kanker family out of her household.<br>"Half of it is his! Half of it is his!" Bebe shouted in anger pointing at where Ed now stood scared and confused at his mother's anger. The Kanker's were forced out the door and into the night. Ms. Kanker glared at the woman in her house and fancy lighting, with hot and cold running water and clearly scared out of her mind by some trailer trash floozy.  
>Ms. Kanker turned and stalked away angrily. Her girls right behind her.<p>

"What's your problem?" Lee asked Marie as the two left, her blue haired sister was kicking at the sidewalk angrily.  
>"I'm just kinda bummed that my oven mitt and I didn't do the nasty first. May beat me at something!" Marie ejaculated angrily. Lee just responded by punching her little sister across the back of the head.<p>

Nazz sat up at her vanity, it was positioned near the window, if she leaned over much like she was doing now she could see the entire neighborhood. Including what was going on at Ed and Sarah's house. The Kanker clan left, Bebe leaving in a huff. Then Lee and Marie arguing about something, and then May, she stopped for a moment and looked back at where Ed and his parents stood in the doorway. She then turned and walked after her rapidly departing family. The blonde scratched her head in confusion.

**Danny A. Owns Ed Edd n Eddy I own nothing not even this computer. Review if you want to. Please and thank you. Rachel Connor as in the writer of the show and Bebe as in just because.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Danny A. owns Ed Edd n Eddy. I own nothing not even this computer.**

May was in bed, her back facing her sisters. The wind was whipping around the trailer and a few breezes got inside. The blankets on top of them were thin, but since there were so many and they had their combined body heat it was not as chilly as it could be.  
>Be thankful for small favors anyway.<br>Their mother was still downstairs in the living room, she had been yelling on the phone at someone for a really long time and the three of them could only make out bits and pieces of the conversation.

May shrugged her shoulders around a little and dragged her pillow out from underneath her head. She hugged it close to her stomach and chest, the pillow was pretty flat, she had been using the same one for years now, and she actually had to fold it in half to get any kind of resistance or form.  
>She bit her lip and looked down at the pillow shoved against her worn blue pajamas. A baby. She had a baby growing inside of her. Maybe right where the pillow was pressed against right now was where the little boy or girl was developing.<p>

May would never in a million years and for a billion dollars admit that she was scared. But between her, the pillow and the little piece of DNA swimming around in her, she was scared, practically petrified. She had been so stupid! Why did she sleep with Ed?! WHY!?

Or more accurately why would he sleep with her?

He was from the upperclass stiff lipped world, she lived in a trailer park, he could dine on any type of high-class fancy stuff he wanted, if her family had roasted hotdogs and beans it was considered a good night, he could choose to smell like a pig sty, she had no choice in the matter. Why the heck would he willingly sleep with her?

Then again she had sort of tricked him into it. But he had never said no...oh man was she going to have to go to jail? She couldn't go to jail, she was too pretty!  
>Or maybe Big Ed will have to go to jail. That thought stopped her from breathing. The guy would be eaten alive in there.<br>Their mother had been to jail once, she didn't tell any of them what she had done, but she had gone into the old slammer as she called it. And the horror stories that she told them about it...May shivered and it was not just from the cold.

Technically Ed was older then her, not by much but it could still count. She didn't know if it would count enough for him to be sent to prison but really who knows?  
>"A police officer, a lawyer, a judge." She listed all of them out loud. Her sisters snoring in synchronization did not stop once. Any of those people would send either her or Ed to prison for one stupid, little, pointless mistake. May wanted to cry, she hadn't done that since she was just a kid, and now she wanted to scream and bawl. It felt horrible.<p>

Her pillow ripped a little and she looked down to where she had been clutching it too close to her gut. She relaxed her hold and took a deep calming breath. She had to do something about this kid inside her. She wasn't going to fool herself about something like this, inside of her body was growing a child. She and Ed made it, completely by accident and probably very illegally, but still they had made it.

Now she just had to decide what to do with it.  
>She instantly cut down what she didn't want to do with it. She was not going to get rid of it. It was close to her, it might not have even began to develop but it was still her's, and no way was she going to get rid of it, for all she knew it could be the next great director and make an even better Fishbowl series!<p>

But she also couldn't fool herself, there was no possible way that she was going to be able to raise it. Her mom worked two maybe three jobs a day! Add another hungry, whining, blubbering mouth and the workload would have to triple. She also knew she could not possible look after a baby, she could hardly look after herself, she was too young for a kid to grab ahold of her hand while crossing the street.

Hands, my god it's going to have hands. She thought and touched her belly with her palm in shock. A tear slid down her cheek and she lay that way until she drifted off into sleep.

Ed stared up at his cracked ceiling, somehow an entire sandwich had become fused with it and he had tried everything in order to get it down. It was now stuck on though, like a tumor. His mommy and Dad had been yelling at each other upstairs in their bedroom, he could hear every single individual word being thrown. Sometime's Ed felt bad for his baby sister, she was stuck on the top floor and had to listen to that whenever his parents had a fight, maybe it caused hearing loss? Maybe that was why she shouted at him so much?

Maybe, maybe not. Maybe she just had some sorta tracking chip stuck in her ear, he had found one in his once. That was a fun weekend. His parents had sent him to his room and then had began shouting about May Kanker, and what should be done about all of this. Ed wasn't sure what they meant by all of this but it sure was weird to think that he might be having a kid.

Well technically May would be having the kid, he would just be the coach supervising the work. Did she want it? When they were younger she kept teasing him and Eddy and Double D with "Jr's" He had picked up the doll somewhere and put it into one of his piles so only he knew where it was exactly, unless the piles had mysteriously moved again in which case he had no Sherlock Holmes idea where it was.

Still...his own Ed Jr, just like his Mommy had her own daughter and Dad his own son, Ed might just get his own, or May might get her own daughter. Weird, weirder then the micemen from mars invasion part five.

His parents kept saying something along the lines of 'Abortion.' He didn't know what the word meant, he had heard Eddy talking about it at sometime or another, he sort of described it as.

"Vacuuming the inside of the ol' parlor boys." Ed moved his hands to behind his head and stared at the sandwich, it might have been glowing. Would May want a vacuum cleaner then? Would she like to keep it? Where would that leave him? He had always assumed that he would be married to a girl if he had a kid,and frankly he had never given marriage much thought, it could attach itself to a person's brain like a space leech if one was not careful.

Oh man would he have to marry May Kanker? She frightened him! Heck her entire family scared the every loving gravy out of him! And him becoming a part of that family? Shivertopia. the only girl he had ever seriously thought about marrying was Nazz, partially because she was cool, partially because she didn't hate him as much as the other kids did when he was younger. Now she was dating Kevin. He thinks? Double D says that it is their private affair and while complicated was really none of their business.

Anyways this whole situation was not about Nazz, or Double D or Eddy. It was about May and Him.

He couldn't just let her take care of his kid by himself, that would be wrong, his Dad had shouted something about paying the Kanker's, just like how he paid those funny talking guys in suit's with violin cases and something about a gambling debt. But why would they pay them? His mommy kept saying that the Kankers should just get rid of it, she said that over and over and over.  
>She couldn't have meant the kid could she? That was part of him in there! It would be the exact same thing as getting rid of her own grandchild. Ed blinked rapidly attempting to organize his thoughts, it was difficult because new ones kept popping up to take over where the old ones had been, this was why he didn't like thinking, that and it made his head feel warm.<p>

Ed finally came to a closure, if May was willing to keep the kid then he would visit, and help out when he could, and who knows, Kevin had learned to like Eddy maybe he could learn to like May! and she had never caused him any lasting physical damage, just lots and lots of psychological and emotional abuse. Nodding his confirmation Ed shut his eyes and the sandwich fell right next to his head, giving a pleasant sour odor to his sheets as he drifted off into slumberland.

Mrs. Kanker shook her head, and put down the phone onto the stand, fourteen bums that she knew who were lawyers and not a one was free to help her with suing the pants off of rich jerks! She rubbed her eyes, it was probably a lost cause, folks like that could get away with anything. Even giving her babies babies, christ on a stick she was too old to be a grandmother and her daughter too young to be a mother.

There were always options, just like her first and fifth kids. She rubbed her gut where she remembered feeling the doctor doing his work, even with the knockout juice they pumped her with, she had felt everything. Still doing that kinda work on a teenager? A junior in high school yes, but still a teenager, still a baby.  
>There could be other options, that's why she needed a lawyer, she had tried all that she knew, good cheap lawyers, bad cheap lawyers, cheap lawyers and even expensive bad lawyers. But nothing! Well almost nothing. There was one single dude that she had not called upon, but that one was only if May wanted to keep the baby.<p>

If she did then it was off to court they go, she was not letting that boy get away with this. She was going to cut off his baby makers and nail them to her hunting wall, once she got a hunting wall that is. Mrs. Kanker pulled a cocktail napkin out of her brazier, she always kept a couple on hand just in case. She quickly scribbled down all possible things that May could really do.  
>Abortion<br>Adoption  
>Keep<br>Sue the pants off of that guys family and make some nice lettuce.  
>The first she didn't want, it was pretty expensive so that was only if the other stuff fell through.<br>Adoption...possible? She guessed? But it could bring attention to their own standard of living, a buck fifty a day might make them kings in MachuPichu, but here they could hardly scrap by.  
>Keep. No way, she was not raising any more babies especially not from her stupid little daughters breed. And especially not that Ed character's, was he a half wit or something?<br>Now the last one was her personal favorite, sure they might have to go through with the whole keeping the kid aspect, but they might be able to use this to her ahem their advantage.

"All comes down to you kiddo." Mrs. Kanker sat down on the couch and began flipping the stations. She wondered why her girls liked that Fishbowl series crud?

Nazz looked out her window. She had been doing this off and on for the entire night. Wondering if anything else would give her a clue as to what happened out by Ed's house. The entire Kanker clan came over all at once? Fishy, this was the very first time she had even seen Mrs(or was it Ms?) Kanker. There had been so much yelling, and complaining, she wondered what it could possibly had been about.  
>Maybe she should ask Ed tomorrow? He might give a roundabout answer or so utter nonsense, but he wouldn't lie, he was so horrible at it that even if he did she could make him spill his guts.<p>

Nazz plugged in her phone and attached her hair curlers, fashion took a while but it was always worth it when she woke up looking awesome as always. She thought, for maybe the first time, if the Kanker sisters ever put curlers in their hair, or any kind of product, they clearly wore perfume. The stuff was overpowering and she could smell it a mile away, not like the stuff she used, just a cheap knock off.

She didn't want to think about something like that. Not bothering to put her moisturizing face mask on she went to bed suddenly tired.

**Danny A. Owns Ed Edd n Eddy, I own nothing not even this computer. Sorry for the wait, been busy.**


End file.
